How I Learned to Start Loving the Mask

Right off the bat, let me first admit that I was wrong to be disillusioned about the mask mandates. These rules have obviously been implemented for the safety of my health. I was horribly misguiding myself this entire time. I apologise for it. And I am thankful that I had the sensibility to change my perceptions about it. The tables turned when I began to start loving the mask.

All this while, when it came to the mask, I was adamantly focused on how it caused respiratory distress to me while wearing it. I was burdening myself, concerned about how it came in the way of my healthy levels of breathing. Not to mention I was worried at how I kept touching my mask with my unwashed hand to get a fresh breath of air or scratch the itch that the mask made around my mouth. Enough was enough! I took a deep breath and told myself that if I wanted to love the mask, I needed to prioritise my worrying and make it about the things that haven’t happened.

Ever since the day I was born, I had been living with the risk of falling ill and even dying to a certain extent all my life. But I continued living my life to the fullest despite of it. What a disastrous way of living! I cannot believe that it took a man-made virus (with a less than 1% mortality rate) to guide me in the right direction. I mean, I began hating myself about how for 31 years I never once thought I could spend every waking hour of my energy worrying about contracting an infection. Thank heavens for this enlightenment! We need to put aside this glorified vision of a life filled with humane qualities of love and joy shared with one another. Despicable! It doesn’t improve our health. In fact, I have started perceiving every person as a threat to my health instead. The more I hate people, the more I love my mask. This should be adopted as the new golden philosophy of life.

It’s worth noting that as the days of my awakened-self continued progressing, I was sinking into this continuous paranoid loop about getting infected by covid every single minute. But that’s perfect! This has given my mind permanent liberation from bothering about inadequate levels of oxygen entering my body through the mask. I chuckle sometimes thinking how my muscle motor movement will get affected. But seriously, I feel so liberated that I re-use the same mask for multiple days. My mom yells at me to get it washed or I might fall ill. She’s mad! I don’t know how to tell her that there have been no other infections out there apart from covid since 2020. Now that I mention it, there is also no point concerning myself with the hazard of potential microbes attaching themselves to my mask after seeing how moist it gets from all the breathing, sweat and humidity. I urge you to be careful with this kind of logic floating in the air. It’s an attempt to make you question the mask. I have already been down that road. Do not go there. Love the mask.

But one thing I insist where you need to be absolutely careful about is these so-called doctors who will advise you to inhale properly even if it becomes necessary to pull your mask down. Trust me, do not listen to them. One such doctor advised me to do this because I felt dizzy and nearly fainted when I was running outside in 34 degrees with my mask on. I was like, “Sorry? Who made you an expert, Mr. “Doctor”?” Disgusting! Do what I do instead - only trust the advice that comes from sensational mainstream media headlines or government committees. They know my body and health better than anyone. Why am I supposed to experience breathing discomfort through a mask when I haven’t read about it in the paper? Doesn’t make sense to me.

In conclusion, let me say that if you listen to your own body and do what is good for your own well-being, you are going to regret it. You need to trust any medical advice delivered to you without question specially when it is bent, moulded and stretched to get a billion people to abide by it. They are creating extreme rules for your own good. Lastly, I don’t know if anyone has said this yet, but if you have an infant baby, mask them up right away. Let this awakening begin at childbirth.